INTRO ANNOUNCER: Are you ready for an open discussion with the best of the best and the best of what's next? Welcome to The Tony D'Urso Show. Join in on a great conversation today with some of the world's great influencers, as they showcase great advice and techniques that made them the game changers they are today. Now, here's Tony D'Urso. TONY: Welcome. I'm your host, Tony D'Urso. I interview elite entrepreneurs and I thank you for joining us. This show is dedicated to helping you turn your vision into reality. And today we're going to discuss Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. Now world-renowned for his wildly successful books such as the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Mark Victor Hansen, together with his wife, Crystal Dwyer Hansen, wrote an amazing book, which I'm reading myself right now. It's called Ask: The Bridge From Your Dreams to Your Destiny. And I'm very serious when I say this—it's already changed me. Oh, there's so much more to tell you. Let's find out more about this guys and let's bring them on. Hi, Crystal and Mark, welcome to The Tony D'Urso Show. CRYSTAL: Hi, Tony. So happy to be with you today. MARK: We are delighted to be with our friend Tony. Thank you. TONY: The honor is mine, guys, and we are all looking to learn how the power of asking works in our life. We have a lot of entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, small business owners. We also have people with a career and they're always looking how to improve and grow. And this is a really unique point. The power of asking and wait—just wait till we tell you more. But before we do that, let's just kind of go back a little bit and let's follow your journey, shall we? Crystal, let's start with you. How did it all start for you? What's your backstory?

INTERVIEW – PART 1 (CRYSTAL'S BACKSTORY) CRYSTAL: Sure, Tony, you know, I think I'm going to go back to a time when—since we're talking about asking—when I asked a question that really, totally pivoted my life. And it was when I was quite young. I was one of those kids who found high school to be quite boring and easy. So I decided to accelerate my curriculum and graduate myself at age sixteen and ended up marrying my boyfriend, who was five years older. Not a great life plan, as it turns out. Two and a half years later, I'm in a brand new city with no family and no friends, baby on my hip, divorced and absolutely no idea of how I was going to support myself. So the first thing I could think of was to apply for food stamps. So I did that, and I remember standing at the grocery counter the first time, getting ready to exchange my food stamps for my food and diapers, and it was like suddenly I had this huge epiphany and I felt like a light was shining on my head. And a question popped into my mind. First question was, "How did I get here?" Followed by a second question immediately that was, "Are you doing everything you can to get out of this situation, or are you taking the easy way out?" It was my moment of truth. I felt like busted, and I knew the second my mind asked that question, I knew the answer immediately. I knew that I wasn't doing the best I could, that I wasn't tapping into all my resources, even though I honestly didn't know what those were. But I just knew at a gut level that I wasn't doing my best. So it was such an instantaneous pivot, Tony, that as I was turning those food stamps over to the cashier, I did it with so much conviction. I remember looking at her and thinking to myself, "This will not be my future." And I honestly think I probably had a little bit of a fierce look on my face, because that's how powerfully I felt that pivot and that conviction. So I went back to my little apartment where I was getting eviction notices every month, and I just started asking more questions because I knew I didn't have any answers, but I realized I had questions. And so I started asking. You know, what could I do to earn money tomorrow? Who would hire me? What skills do I have? As I started asking these questions, suddenly I remember hearing on the radio about temporary service agencies like Kelly Services. You know, Kelly girls. So I called them and said, "How do I apply?" They told me, "Fill out the paperwork, put your qualifications down, we'll line you up with jobs and you can say yes or no." So I started taking on these assignments that were like anywhere from four days to four weeks long. Started filling in at attorneys' offices and doing, setting up booths at malls and doing sales at conventions that would come through town. And I really started learning a lot about myself. And I learned that I really love business. I especially loved when I was able to work with the primary business owner. That was really cool to me because I really wondered what made them tick, and I wanted to learn more about it. And I also love sales. So at that point, I decided to put myself through real estate school and someone approached me in the meantime saying, "You know, you should do some modeling." So I thought, what do I have to lose? I went to the biggest agency in my city, and I asked them if they would sign me. So after, you know, reading some lines and walking the runway, fortunately, they signed me. So fast forward, Tony, about a little more than a year and a half later from that moment that I was turning over those food stamps, I'm now working for the largest home builder in our valley as a licensed realtor. I became the number one realtor salesperson at my company. And I'm also earning residual income because some of the television commercials—I ended up getting some television commercials with my modeling agency, they went national. And so I had to join the Screen Actors Guild because once you make a certain amount of money, you have to do that. So I was getting the best benefits possible for myself and my son. And I often thought back once I'd had this success and this complete pivot in my life, I would think back to that moment. What changed for me? You know, it would have been so easy for me to keep sliding down into my victimization. But it was really the question. You know, being able to ask the tough question of myself—are you doing the best you can or are you taking the easy way out? And then even more importantly, I think to have the courage to answer it honestly, because I think it takes that honest evaluation of ourselves sometimes to really push ourselves to the next level. TONY: That's so impressive, Crystal. I've seen so many people who were at positions similar—you would say rock bottom—people hit rock bottom and they've stayed there, or they didn't go very far. And you've gone on to become a superstar as a realtor and you've done so much. Hats off to you. That is quite, quite the story. And I see that thread of asking, which I didn't know when I was younger, but I have a different path. But anyways, it's very interesting. We're going to find out more about that and tie that in.

INTERVIEW – PART 2 (MARK'S BACKSTORY) TONY: And let's switch over to you, Mark. Tell us a little bit. We know some about you, but we don't all know your backstory. So could you fill us in? MARK: I'll do the abbreviated backstory. I'm in graduate school and I asked the smartest guy on the planet who I met, Buckminster Fuller, Einstein's best student, if I could work for him. I'm hanging with him for seven years. But then I go to New York City and I—Bucky invented geodesic domes and lots of other stuff, wrote forty books—but I'm building swimming pool covers, botanical gardens, aviaries out of plastic and it was a long time. 1974, the oil embargo hit and I crashed and burned so fast I had to check a book out at the library—"How to Go Bankrupt by Yourself," which was my best work experience. So I asked myself, what do I do? Because I'm sleeping in front of another guy's room. And what we're teaching in our book Ask is, you got to ask yourself, ask others and ask God. And I kept saying, "Okay, God, what is it I'm supposed to do?" And I came up with the idea asking God is that I'm supposed to talk to people that care about things that matter, that make a life transformative difference. And it was sort of like an aha moment. After asking that, I go down and I asked my three roommates in Hicksville, Long Island, New York, "Hey, guys, do you know anyone who is a young speaker? It's not a Broadway star because we were in New York. Not a celebrity, not a lawyer, not a doctor, not a famous person, and someone near my age so I can relate to him or her." I said, "Oh my gosh, here's the ticket. I was supposed to go today, but this guy is phenomenal. He's older than you by a little bit, but he's top salesman. Kodak Superstar." I raced out to Hauppauge, Long Island, New York. Listen to this guy. Mesmerized the audience for three hours, Tony. I was just astounded. Go up to him after the talk and I put out my hand, I introduced myself and I ask, I say, "Jim Rohn, can you teach me how to do this business?" "Look, kid, chance you make it? One in one thousand, you ain't going to make it, you know. Why don't you go do some real business?" I said, "Well, no, no, let me determine that." He said, "Okay, you stay out of the real estate market. I own these five boroughs of New York. You do life insurance—it's a bottomless pit." Long story, very short. I did a thousand talks a year the first three years, and people kept saying, "Goodness gracious, you're a great storyteller. Do you have it in a book?" And so the first book I did was called Stand Up, Speak Out and Win. And I said, "It's not a New York Times bestseller, not even a national bestseller, but it's mine. And I'd like to sign it to your wife and kid. I'm asking you to let me do it." I sold twenty thousand copies at ten dollars. Made two hundred thousand dollars. As you know, back in the prehistoric days when dinosaurs ruled the earth, that was like two million dollars. And it's all because of asking. I asked myself, how do I get out of it? I asked God, he told me what to do. I asked him if he had help. I asked myself, could I do this because it was scary. And then I just asked for more business than anybody because you got it. If you want to succeed big because you got entrepreneurs, you got to have massive right action and massive right direction to get the massive right results right here, right now. TONY: That is absolutely phenomenal. And I know a little bit of the backstory on this because I've had the pleasure of interviewing Jack Canfield, whom you've partnered with, and I understand. I've also interviewed Diana Wentworth, and I know that that's where the embryo of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series came out, though it was already being worked on by Jack Canfield. I understand the humorous backstory where you asked him to join him and you said that those were your stories and you teased him and that you were a better salesman than him. And that combination of you two guys working—I mean, just look at what you've done. That book series has sold more books than any other book in history except for the Bible. Five hundred million? MARK: Yes, sir. Five hundred million books. TONY: Perfect insight, guy. You're correct. And I want to make a comment. Now we're going to talk about it a little bit later, but I find it astounding. And I have to say, this is a business show. We talk to entrepreneurs, career-minded people and small business owners and so forth. And the way the world has changed, I think, is that people don't talk about God. They don't say his name even when you read it. It's G dash D and people now say, "Oh, the universe does this," and you are one of perhaps two people, maybe three in over five hundred millionaires, billionaires and so forth that I've interviewed over the past five-plus years. There's only this many people that have ever even said that word. It's kind of been taboo in a way. And what is astounding is you use that and it actually brought you somewhere and gave you, put some light on the path. We're going to talk about that in a moment, but I just couldn't help but commenting now that that is astounding in itself.

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INTERVIEW – PART 3 (PURPOSE & MOTIVATION) TONY: All right, we're back on The Tony D'Urso Show, where you can learn from the wisdom and success of others to help you move on your vision path. Today's show is Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. You may know Mark as that Chicken Soup for the Soul Guy, established as a cultural icon in 1990. Mark and his business partner Jack Canfield created what Time magazine called "the publishing phenomenon of the decade." With over five hundred million Chicken Soup for the Soul books sold worldwide, one of the most successful publishing franchises of all time. All right. And now back to the chat with Crystal and Mark. MARK: I love saying God will give you all the credit. You give us all the permissions and yes, we will tithe on it. And yes, we believe the world needs to be more Godful right now and we're doing everything we can to do that because godlessness just doesn't work. That's socialism and communism and atheism and it's dysfunctional. It's tried, tested and terrible. TONY: We're going to talk about this a very long time. We see eye to eye on this. And that's great. And now we're going to talk more about that because that's one of the questions I have just a little bit later. But one last thing before we move on to that little segment is motivation. Purpose. You know, what's that writing thing that makes you get up in the morning whether you get paid or not? From the point of view of your professional speakers, your coaches, your consultants, you help people. You know, from the point of view of many other people on this earth, you guys have made it. But yet you do this relentlessly. You help, you teach. And I'd love to know what that purpose is? What's that motivation behind that? MARK: I'll start and let her finish. But we did the perfect title. We think "Ask"—one three-letter word with an exclamation mark. "The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny," we said. And checking out everything in all the books and all the academics and all the twenty-six people we interviewed, everybody has a destiny. Most people don't know it. Most people superficially say, "Well, you know, I'm a podcaster, I'm an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer, a garbage person." No, no, no disrespect to anybody, but you're more than that. And we're saying our destiny now is to help everyone, eight billion people alive, find their destiny and will make everybody better off. As we ask ourselves, how do I manifest my full potential to do my destiny and feel really good about myself, doing what I want to do, being what I want to be, and having what I want to have. TONY: Fantastic. And Crystal, anything you'd like to add to that? CRYSTAL: Well, I would just say that, you know, every day that I wake up and I think I'm speaking for Mark too, that, you know, we believe that we're here. I want to expend every bit of my energy till the last day, till I leave this earth, making sure that I express everything that God created me to express. And I think that's one of the big questions that I ask God all the time is, "Will you show me how to become the greatest expression for which you made me?" Because, you know, if you're part of your creator, which we all are, we're part of the source, why not tap into that and become all that you can be? And so I just truly believe that. I mean, I wouldn't be happy if I didn't keep evolving and help others evolve. I think that's the reason we're here is to be in that service. TONY: I love it. Music to my ears. And by the way, for our audience, you can find the book Ask at— MARK: The book actually, you have to get it on Amazon. And then we're saying once they buy the book, then come to AskTheBookClub.com and we're going to invite you to a free event. TONY: Oh, I like that, I like that, I like events. Well, events are good. All right. Change of plan, folks. But as entrepreneurs, we know when a change happens, we like changes. So march on over to Amazon.com. Get the book Ask by Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen, and then and only then go to AskTheBookClub.com and enjoy the party. MARK: So everyone can become Master Askers and no one else is teaching it. And it is one of those things that you don't get in life what you deserve, you get in life what you ask for. And what happens is the questions you ask determines the path that you're going to take. And we want everyone to be on their path to the right livelihood, to have a fortune, to have great relationships, to have everything in their life working so they are human becomings at a full-tilt boogie.

INTERVIEW – PART 4 (WHY WE HAVE TO ASK) TONY: Well, you know, Mark that brings up my first question when I was reading the book, which I'm serious—it's changing because it's really got me thinking. But this interview is more about you than what. And I'll talk more and summarize what I got out of this book later. But the first thing that came up to me is not the power of asking, but why do we have to ask? And this is something for all you entrepreneurs, businessmen out there. Let's get this into your head. Why do you have to ask? Now, I might be a little bit silly, but you know, I've been together with my wonderful wife for going on twenty-nine years, and I never have to ask her to do the laundry, cook, do the cleaning or do shopping or any errands. I'm not even joking, and I'm not trying to elevate myself or anything. I've just never asked her. We just have that kind of relationship. She just does these things and that's great. And I'm just thinking now, but that's in the personal life. In the business world, we have to ask. We have to ask for the sale. We have to ask for things. We have to ask employees to work because they won't work because they just want the money. But I don't want to steal your thunder anymore. There's a lot of—why do we have to ask, Mark? Could you kind of carry this forward a little bit for us? MARK: Asking is an individual opportunity to grow and expand. And when you ask, what Crystal and I've discovered is that the minute you start asking, you have illuminations, revelations, insight, solutions. And if you go to bed asking on a problem and because you're willing to let us talk about God, you say, "God, what's your destiny for me? God, what's your destiny for me? God, what's your destiny for me?" Four or five hundred times. And because you had Jack on the program, I'm sure he probably told you that in our respective homes, we say "mega bestselling title. God give us a mega bestselling title. Mega bestselling title." And he called me at 2:58 in the morning and said, "Chicken Soup for the Soul." We both got goosebumps. 144 publishers rejected us. Ladies and gentlemen, you got to listen to that because when you get rejected, you got to say "next." It's a clean four-letter word because somebody—you got to pick yourself back up from that rejection, not just one, but over a hundred times. It's like, how many times does somebody have to say no for somebody to stop? The answer? Mostly once. But then the other thing is our agent fired us. So I hope Jack told you that we put on little backpacks with three-ring binders. We went to ABA—American Booksellers Association—and after three days of slugging it out and having a great time, because both of us love to read and are addicted readers, if you don't mind my using that word in a positive way. We met everybody that was famous and we just said, "Oh, this is heaven for us." It's like Mark twain said, "If I go to heaven, I hope it's got an endless library." TONY: Absolutely amazing. I just absolutely love that story. You've added a little bit more. And yes, Jack told a little bit about that story. You filled it in. Thank you. And Crystal, you talked about the importance of asking because you were at the bottom in a way. You were at the bottom, not even knowing what's going to happen in your life. And yet you started asking. And again, I know it sounds weird to even ask why, but why do you feel we need to ask? And what has that done for you? CRYSTAL: Right? Because honestly, Tony, we know this for certain. There is no mechanism that has the ability to reveal what is hidden from you like asking. It is the true mechanism to reveal what is hidden. And if you think about what happens when we all get stuck, we're in problems, and we’re having turmoil, tribulations. We start to ruminate about the problem and we get so wrapped up in our external world—what's going on around us, right? So we don't see anything new. All we see is the problem, the problem, the problem. The only way to get out of the problem is to start asking questions and question by question, answer by answer, you will start to have a new idea. You'll get a little breakthrough. You'll start to have a solution because it's interesting, the studies we did show that if you ask yourself a question, a different part of your brain lights up. It goes to work for you, and it's the part of your brain that does critical thinking. So literally, your brain becomes a better resource to you when you learn to ask. That's asking yourself. And then the asking others part is so important because that is the way human beings bond and become a resource to one another. And there's no way you can be a successful person, successful in business, successful in relationships, until you become a really great asker. First of all, you can't be a lone ranger in this life. You need other people in your journey to be part of your journey in many different ways, right? And the other part of that is you need to use the tool of asking to understand other people and understand situations. So in talking about the research a little more, people are terrified to ask. It's really interesting. So all the studies show this. So basically everyone entering the study, the conclusion was the same—that if they were going to ask for information or help or advice entering the study, they felt like they would be perceived as being stupid, ignorant, uninformed, or pushy and obnoxious. Right? We all universally feel that way if we ask. Okay. The studies show they reveal just the opposite, that if you're just willing to ask and put yourself out there, there is an 80 percent more likely chance that your request will get granted, that you will find your answer. But you have to put it out there, because the other part of the study shows that people will not come and impose that on you. They'll wait till you ask. You need to be an asker. Somebody's just not going to figure it out and come to your rescue and tell you what to do. You need to ask. It's important to ask.

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INTERVIEW – PART 5 (ASKING & BONDING) TONY: All right, we're back on The Tony D'Urso Show, where you can learn from the wisdom and success of others to help you move on your vision path. Today's show is Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. Crystal Dwyer Hansen is an international speaker, researcher, corporate consultant, author, and entrepreneur. She's a member of the International Coaching Federation, a certified clinical hypnotherapist, the founder of Crystal Vision Life Limited and Skinny Life, a wellness company. And now back to the chat with Crystal and Mark. CRYSTAL: The other part of the studies that we looked at were just the idea of creating those bonds. So in work situations and personal relationships, the best askers were found to be the most likable people. So if you're entering a business situation, you want to do business with someone. We often start out by going, "Okay, I'm going to sell them on my need. I'm going to tell them how great I am. I'm going to tell them how I have the best thing and they're just going to love it." And what we fail to remember is that we don't even know this person yet. How do you know what they even need or want? Because you never asked. So the most important thing you can start with as a business person of any kind is to go to your client, sit with your client, or sit with your audience and ask, "If I were able to help you in the most, you know, meaningful material way this year, what would that look like? You know, if I were able to do this for you in three months, how would that change your business? You know, what are your biggest pain points? And if you were to get help through those, what would that look like?" Now all of a sudden you understand your client. You're not trying to sell them something they're not even going to relate to because you haven't even gotten to know them. And same thing in relationships. When we ask each other questions, we're saying, "You know what, Tony? I have a sincere interest in you. What about this? What did you do here?" And ask probing questions. When someone answers, you listen to the answer and go deeper. You know, it's very important. So all of this, we talk about all these things in the book, but it's one of the most important life skills you will ever master. And that's why we call it the art and science of asking. Because on one hand, it's a very simple tool which everyone can learn, but there's also sort of an elegance to it that we all need to practice. TONY: You know, I've learned, as I've done a lot of sales, for some reason I've been very successful at sales, but I was always afraid of getting a no. So I would not ask my clients, and maybe this is part of my Italian, but I wouldn't ask the clients because I didn't want to hear a no. Instead, I would keep describing the product, the service, what we're going to do and this and the benefits and the features and the stories until the client said, "How much does it cost?" or "I'm sold, sign me up." MARK: So, Tony, what we say is there are seven roadblocks. And that's what you're hitting—one of those roadblocks. Now did you know that? TONY: Well, I'm at the story of the fable of Micaela. MARK: Okay. TONY: Which is absolutely amazing. And the one thing I've learned and I'll let you finish is by her asking just at the beginning. And there's a story and it's such a great story, guys. You got to check it out. You got to check this book out. By the way, everybody, it's called Ask by Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. It's really good. You got to go to Amazon and go get this book. It's really cool. Once you read the story and you just zone in, here's a lady. She was hit by disaster, bad news, misfortune—parents dying, husband dying. She lived in a grove. She didn't have a house. She had no place to live. And she started by asking a question. And I'm not going to try to steal your thunder at all, but what I got out of it. When I said at the beginning, I learned stuff is that by asking you encourage, you grow, you bring in opportunity and to see this lady's life, this lady Micaela, in the book, her whole life changed by her asking questions and the opportunities that came. It really hit a chord with me. It's very, very profound. CRYSTAL: I'm so happy to hear that. You know, when I wrote The Fable of Micaela, it was like the story kind of existed and it just wrote itself and I just penned it. It was so inspiring to me to be able to write that story. And it really is, Tony, every woman and every man's journey, because Micaela starts off, like you said, having lost everything and her job. And I'll just say a little bit about it because we want everybody to read it. But her job is basically as an indentured servant, moving, working at the quarry, and she moves heavy rocks from one place to another all day long. And, you know, metaphorically, that's how a lot of people feel. Life is so heavy right now, and it's heavy and it's slow and it's burdensome. And a lot of our hope has gone out of us. And the light has gone out of our world, just like Micaela. But if you follow the journey of Micaela, you will start to see yourself in that journey so clearly, just like you did, Tony. And that's why I wrote it. That's why we wrote it. I was going to cut it up in four different parts in the book, and Mark loved it so much. He's like, "No, this goes in one piece in the beginning of the book. It's going to transform lives." And so the feedback we're getting just on the fable, people say the fable alone is worth the book beyond because it's transformative. People will read it again and again because you learn every time from it. So I'm so happy to hear you say that. And I'm just so excited for people to be able to read it. TONY: And you know, I want to—I want to not correct, but maybe adjust or tweak one thing I said earlier, and I'll explain why now that we're talking and getting into the power of asking. Remember I said that—I said the power of asking. And what it does is I mentioned my wife earlier, I don't ask her for anything because I'll tell you why. If she asked me, "Tony, what would you like for your birthday?" Let's say it's a month from now, which is kind of true. If I tell her what I want for my birthday, I say, "You know, I would like this." If I answer that, she'll buy it right now and I won't have to think of something else I want for my birthday. That's how powerful it is. So you have to kind of watch what you ask for because as Mark was saying earlier, you'll get it. It just opens up this opportunity. It is very, very powerful.

INTERVIEW – PART 6 (THE THREE WAYS OF ASKING) TONY: And we're going to go into the three ways of asking. And have we finished asking about "ask yourself"? There's three ways. Is there anything more? Perhaps, Mark, you'd like to say about the first method? MARK: Well, ask yourself, ask others and ask God. And we can go deep on each one of them. But the fact of the matter is, I want to go back to how you started the show—Ask for More, because most of us are so intimidated by these seven roadblocks. Sense of unworthiness, doubt, fear. You know, the fact is that we have pattern paralysis. We keep doing the same thing. And Einstein would say, "Well, then you're cuckoo," meaning you're crazy. Disconnection. And there's a lot of levels of disconnection now people are disconnecting. And, you know, because they've been stuck in this Covid confinement for a year or almost. And a lot of people in different places are getting free. But what we're discovering, Tony, and I think you've discovered it the minute you start reading these questions, as you ask your way out of this, and we're saying, it's not that people want too much, they're asking for too little, and you've got to ask, "Who do I want to be?" You got to ask, "What do I want to do when I get free here?" And ask, "Who am I going to become and what do I want to have?" So it's be, do and have. But it's all by asking. TONY: An analogy to that in terms of people working out their vision. And I wrote a book called The Vision Map, but that's a separate story. But it's got that in there. It's like, what are you doing? What are you being? You know, then the end result, your fruits, you're having your accomplishments. So very interesting parallels to that. But there's a lot more. There's not one thing I believe in all my years of service to the world, there's not one thing that solves everything, I say. It likens itself to a diamond. And a diamond has these shiny flat surfaces called a facet. And when you polish a facet on your diamond, it shines. And if you've got it and you pass—and if you learn something else and you polish that, it shines and you polish that and it shines, and before you know it, you're looking like a very shiny diamond, but it was just from polishing and working on these facets. And this power of asking—I said that and I said that earlier in this interview, and I really meant it very seriously when I was speaking to you, Crystal, saying, "Man, I wish I knew this when I was young. I wish I had the guts, the cojones to ask" because I wasn't there as a young person. But it's so powerful that when I look back when I asked for something, I get it. And you know, there's an adage, you have to be careful what you ask because you just might get it. CRYSTAL: Yeah, that's so true. And you usually do if you focus on something. And the other thing we talk about in the book is how to prepare to be a good asker. And I think that's important to recognize, Tony. First of all, you have to have belief. You know, you have to believe, number one that you deserve to have the answers and also believe that the answers are out there for you somewhere. You have to embrace that belief. And when you embrace that, it's like you are giving certain knowledge and will that those answers will find you. And they will. That's just how our amazing, this perfect universe that was created by the Creator God, right? There's a perfect universe set up that all of these things we learn about is part of that creation, the law of attraction. It's what we're emanating out. Of course, it's going to come back to us. So we have to learn to ask for those things and ask in a very specific way. So belief is the first one and then visualization. You were just mentioning that, you know, Mark and I say when you ask for something, when you're asking your questions, use the power of visualization. We are the only animals on earth that have an imagination. It's a special tool that God gave us to co-create our lives with him. So how amazing is that? And every single thing you've ever seen in this world that is wonderful was started off in someone's imagination. So when you ask for something, we say there are three critical phases of asking when you're asking yourself. So that first one is, "Where am I now?" Right? Because you need to figure out where you are before you can go forward. So where am I now? And all the little questions that come underneath that? What's working? What's not working? What do I like? Am I even on the right track? Then the second critical phase is "Where do I want to be?" Because so few people take the time to really sculpt their life in that way. They just sort of accept what's coming at them, thinking that somehow their life is created out there somewhere. And the truth is, your life experience is created from the inside out.

SPONSOR BREAK – VOICE AMERICA TONY: This is The Tony D'Urso Show, where you can learn from the wisdom and success of others to help you move on your vision path. Just ahead, the chat continues about Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. But first, it's time for us to take a short break. See you back here in just a moment. ANNOUNCER: The Voice America Influencer's channel is on Facebook. If you haven't already, be sure to like our page because this is where you'll share and read stories and tips from all of our influencers. Search for Voice America Influencers or click the like button under the player today. ANNOUNCER: You're listening to The Tony D'Urso Show with key influencers. We'd love to hear from you via email. Be sure to send questions and comments to Tony@TonyDUrso.com. Now back to Tony and his guests.

INTERVIEW – PART 7 (CRITICAL PHASES & ACTION) TONY: All right, we're back on The Tony D'Urso Show, where you can learn from the wisdom and success of others to help you move on your vision path. Today's show is Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. Mark captures his audience's attention as well as their hearts. Having spoken to over six thousand audiences worldwide with his one-of-a-kind technique and masterful authority of his work, time and time again, he continues to receive high accolades from his audiences as one of the most dynamic and compelling speakers and leaders of our time. And now back to the chat with Crystal and Mark. CRYSTAL: So when you're in those critical phases, "Where do I want to be?" Start from the nth degree of your imagination with visualization. What in your greatest degree of success are you doing? And who are you? And then engineer it backwards by asking all the questions. From this beautiful success that I'm having, who am I talking to every day? What am I focusing on? What's important to me? Who are my biggest colleagues? What services am I providing in this perfect world? What products am I providing? All of those things, but go from the nth degree of this perfect scenario because you have that ability to create exactly what you want. You just have to ask for it and use your imagination. And then the other one is action. You know, you have to take action in this life. So, you know, where am I now? Where do I want to be? And what specific action steps am I going to take to get there? Because we live in this physical reality where we have to, you know, put our plan in action. TONY: You know, I'm just going to joke here that you must have eavesdropped on conversations I used to have in corporate America. I worked like thirty-two years in corporate America. And I always used to say, you've got to want it, and then you've got to go out and actually do it. And it's just absolutely amazing that those are the simplicities. And I'll kind of translate it a little bit on the vision. What you see before you, everyone, first was a vision and then it became a reality. Everything that you see—your computer, your clothes, your book Ask, your book Chicken Soup for the Soul, my books, everything—started with a vision. And you ask questions about it. And then you took the actions and you turned it into reality. It sounds so simple, but it just takes such a long time to learn. And this book Ask is really—it's got some great points. I can't wait to get more into some of these other points that you say, which you so nicely explain and expound upon in the book. I just absolutely love it. And perhaps, Mark, maybe you could comment and join in on some of those points and give us your point on that. MARK: Well, I've been fascinated with everything you've said, and thank you for all these great questions. But because everybody here is an entrepreneur or a business person, and I define entrepreneur as somebody who takes a problem, fixes it, scales it, makes a vast profit. But I'm learning how to sell really well by the world's top salesman, trained by a guy named Ben Feldman, who is a master at asking who's on the cover of Forbes and Fortune and all that. But he asked me one day we're sitting at lunch. He said, "You know, you want to make one hundred grand a year?" Remember, that's fifty years ago. And that was the biggest money you could think of, right? He said, "That's two hundred and fifty dollars a day, four hundred days. That equals one hundred grand." He said, "Would you like to make a million a year?" Like I make six million a year. He said, and I go, "Holy cow, six million a year. Oh my goodness gracious, I'd like to do that." He said, "Well, a million a year." He said, "You got kids. If your kid's life depended on it, could you earn four thousand dollars?" And he said, "It's one zero." And he's asking a profound question. That's how powerful the question is, because he called it a disturbing question. Today we call it a disruptive question. I mean, if you're not the disruptor in business, you're the disrupted. And the disruptor of our time, as far as I'm concerned, is Elon Musk and we could talk to his disruption questions. But the fact of the matter is I started earning a million a year. And it was just—it was amazing how fast it worked just because I changed my mind to say I'm going to earn four thousand a day times two hundred and fifty workdays to make a million. And I think the best thing anyone listening can do for the poor is not be one of them. And you got to ask yourself, would you be okay making a million or more a year? And if the answer is yes, then go do it. And it doesn't matter your chronology if you're twenty-one or eighty-one, its available today more than ever before, thanks to the largesse of our world and technology.

INTERVIEW – PART 8 (ASKING OTHERS) TONY: And now I'd like to go into the next part, because there's three parts we've talked a lot about. Ask yourself and everybody, you got to read this book called Ask with an exclamation mark, remember? So it's like three letters and a symbol. The symbol is an exclamation mark. And there's a reason it's an exclamation mark because you think you know that word "ask." Well, you know what, dear ladies and gentlemen, you think you know the words sugar, flour, cream, butter. And you think you can make a soufflé with that? You may know the words, but there's more to it. So that's why I think the word Ask has an exclamation, because there's so much behind it. There's a whole book behind it. But now the next step is asking others is a very important part of it. We talked, we mentioned a little bit, but I kind of want to make sure we cover that and focus on the asking of others as well. Because for all you entrepreneurs and business owners out there, you think you're asking for the right thing to grow your business. Maybe not. Let's hear what Mark has to say about that. MARK: I'm going to let that be Crystal because I answered the last one so deeply. CRYSTAL: About others. Well, what happens is what I was saying a few minutes ago, each of us need all of us, and all of us need each of us. And the highest level of asking is, you got to ask somebody at one level to be your mentor and you're the mentee. Another level you want to do is have a mastermind where two or more are gathered in the spirit of cooperative harmony, like Andrew Carnegie, the richest man of his time, you know, taught Napoleon Hill, who wrote Think and Grow Rich, which is one of the seminal books everyone's got to read. If you're really going to be an entrepreneur, you need to understand the philosophy of how to grow rich. Because, like I said, the best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them. MARK: So the point is, we're saying relationship is everything and everybody can start to ask to get better, more important, and nobler, more dignified relationships. But back to we ask yourself, what is your destiny? And then what Crystal said is you got to ask others, "Will you help me fulfill my destiny?" And most people would like to do it. When Jack and I started Chicken Soup for the Soul, as he probably told you, I interviewed the 101 best fiction and nonfiction authors, but I didn't ask how to write. I know how to write. I said, "How did you market more books than anyone?" And then I collated it, put it in a whale of a business plan. Because back to your question is, you get what you ask for, and that's why all those publishers turned me down. I just figured it out recently is that I said I'd sell a billion books. And they went, "This guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He can't even get on Oprah." Well, we were on Oprah. I was on Oprah five times. So it's not a question of do you get what you asked for. It's a question—are you asking for enough? Because most of us get—like Crystal was saying, you get constipated or stuck in our asking or stifled or thwarted because somebody says no to you? Well, if they say no, there's somebody out there that'll say yes, if you just stay strong and stand tall. CRYSTAL: You know, from a business perspective, you know, we talked a little bit about those seven roadblocks to asking. And it is important to pay attention to those in the book, because what Mark and I have discovered is that each one of us carries at least one, if not more of those roadblocks. And those are the very roadblocks that will keep us from asking other people to engage in our journey. That's what we're really asking is inviting other people in to engage with us in some way or another, whether it's for information, help, assistance, whatever it is. So we have to get over those roadblocks. One of my favorite stories in the book about asking in a business scenario is a woman named Lynn Marquis, who—she got out of right out of college. She wanted to go into the non-profit space, and what she did right away was to form a wonderful summer camp for children, for disadvantaged children. And it was going to be a really elaborate camp, you know, lasted a long time because the parents of those children usually can't afford that type of thing. And they, you know, they don't have anything to do with their kids. They don't know what to do with their kids often in the summertime. So she was really excited and passionate about the camp. She finally got an appointment with the with a woman who controlled a large family trust in her city. She was like the wealthiest woman in her city. So she said she got to the woman's office building that day, stepped through the door of her office and was so scared, she said she was scared to death that she was visibly shaking, and she said it was so obvious that there was no hiding it. So she just apologized to the woman. She said, "You know, I'm so honored to meet you. I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous." And the woman, of course, was so kind. And she said, "Come on, don't be nervous. Just come sit down and tell me what you have." So Lynn proceeded to tell her about this amazing camp and how great it was going to be for the children and how much it would benefit them. And then the woman asked her, "Well, how much are you asking for?" And then again, Lynn got very nervous and she said, "I could hardly get the words out of my mouth. I stuttered and said, 'I'm asking for five thousand dollars.' And she said, that's how scared I was." And the woman looked at her and said, "Well," she said, "That's how much it costs per camper because it's a really great camp." And the woman looked at her and said, "Well, how many campers you plan on having?" And she said, "You know, something like two hundred and eighty-five campers." And the woman said, "Okay, I'd like to underwrite all of them. How much will that be?" Lynn was so dumbfounded. Her jaw dropped. She goes, "Oh, I'm not sure. Do you have a calculator? I need to add that up." The woman so far exceeded her expectation in asking and she was terrified. Okay, so her fear was still there. You know, we may have to carry our fear in with us, but you have to just step on your fear with courage. I mean, really step on your fear with some courage because you never know who is going to be that person who's going to be the grantor of your wish, and maybe far exceed what you have asked for. And the only way you're going to know that is to continue to ask. TONY: So true. It brings me back to the story of Micaela, where I'm not going to—what's it called?—spoiler alert. She gets something amazing, and I'm not going to tell you, you're going to have to read the book. But it's pretty cool. And it's exactly what Crystal said. So now it's a little coded. So if you want to understand what I just said, you're going to have to read the book and the story of Micaela in this book called Ask: The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny. It's really cool stuff.

INTERVIEW – PART 9 (ASK GOD) TONY: All right. Now, we've talked about two of the three. We've talked about ask yourself, ask others. And we talked very a little bit about ask God. But you bring it up as a key point in your book. Crystal, why do we ask God? Let's kind of summarize, translate it for our entrepreneurial audience. CRYSTAL: Well, you know, we come into this world as these beautiful little children, so uncorrupted in our asking, because that's how we were created. We come to this world to learn and evolve. And so children come in and they ask for everything. They want to know everything. They're wildly curious. They want to know who, what, when, where, how, why, you know? And they also aren't afraid to ask for more, more and more and more, right? And as children, we all, you know, we're basically okay with asking for everything. And then at some point, depending on how, you know, we were parented, what happened in our school experience, you know, we were told to be quiet, sit still, don't ask any more questions, you know, do your jobs, your opinions weren't valued and just basic life rejection. You start to get shut down. That beautiful spirit that was coded inside of you from birth that God gave you is shut down. And so suddenly we find ourselves standing there as an adult, pretty much terrified to ask anyone for anything and also ashamed to not have all the answers. And that's a tragedy because we're here to learn, grow, and evolve. That's why we're put on this earth. I believe this is the University of Life. And if we stop asking and shut down that beautiful, God-given curiosity that we were coded with by God, then we can never fulfill our destiny. So really, this journey is a very spiritual journey. It's really awakening again, the essence of who you are, that beautiful, uncorrupted child within. So stop being afraid of what other people think about you, because your journey is important. And really, so much is between you and God. And don't be afraid to, you know, take that journey with God and have those experiences. It's amazing. I look at, you know, my experiences with God, it's like sort of a camera lens when you're focused in really tight on something and this is all you see, that's the scope of the vision you have. But when you pull back the camera lens, you know, that's like working with God within this lifetime, you start to see everything in creation and nature and the universe in this world, how you are a part of all that, you're part of this living creation. We're all a part of it. We're all woven together as part of this. So asking really helps bind us together and connect us to everything, basically to connect us to our future and connect us to our destiny. TONY: You know, we've said this particular word over a dozen times in this interview. It's not the word "ask," but when you said it the last time, talking about God and fulfilling our purpose, it added another layer to me in that word that we talk about here and there is destiny. There's more to just making money. We have, as we talked about before, you guys could retire. You know, I could retire, but there's more to it than that. And you don't really realize what the next level is, the next step is until you get up to a certain point. Yes, you got to get your business from five digits to six digits, and then six digits to seven digits, or wherever you need to be for your family. And whatever you're doing depends on what your business is. I get that, but once you get there, it's not an end-all, folks. Money is not the end-all. There's a whole other level. And I can only say that because of where I am. Some people call it being in the bliss. I guess I'm in the bliss. When you get to a certain point, such as Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen here, you want to help others. It's the next level and there's a destiny. And as you move up—and this might sound a little esoteric, it might sound a little strange—but when you get up there, you then realize and have this, the curtain opens a little more and you realize the next level. Perhaps you're asking the right questions, but what I'm trying to say is there's more to just making the buck. There's so much more to it. But if you keep on and you're successful and that's not an issue anymore, then I believe very clearly because it's happened to me—another level, another part of the universe opens up. And I believe that's why it's one of your three key points, Mark, is asking God. And as we've talked about a few times, and it's so interesting because this is not a show about religion or anything, but it is so important in us, in our business, and I'd love to have you pick it up from there, Mark. MARK: So what happens is Genesis 1:26 to 28 says, you're made in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, there are three keys—you're here to create. Because if all he did was create up until then, you're supposed to create, right? If we're made in the image and likeness. Number two, you're here to contribute. Now he flung stars in the skies. You and I are here to fling some people out there to write a book, which we teach how to do, or write a song or invent something or whatever it is they're supposed to do. And every one of us has got that. But it's not—unless you ask God and you at depth before you go to sleep. You know, "God, what's your destiny for me? God, what's your destiny for me?" That it unveils. And you must write it down immediately when it comes through. Because you came coded in DNA and RNA with that destiny. So you got to create, you got to contribute, and then you got to be charitable. Those are the three C's that we believe. And the other part that you're saying is Maslow had his little hierarchy. You come out of nothing and go to something. It's called self-actualization. In spiritual language, that same thing is called self-realization. And when you're self-realized, you understand what the master teacher said. "The greatest amongst you is servant of all." So the question we ask at the very end of the book, we learn from our friend, Dr. Peter Diamandis, who wrote a book called Abundance. Peter said, "What are you going to do positively to affect a billion people during this decade?" That affects every one of us—eight billion people alive. Four billion of us are in the equation, yet we're totally in "have-not-ness." It's only those of us that really learn how to entrepreneur, because entrepreneur is sourcing and serving others with a positive mental attitude, quantity and quality of service that will equal whatever compensation you want. But pretty soon you get past compensation and a real compensation for you as the psychic realization of your great service.

OUTRO TONY: Hey fellow entrepreneurs, thanks for hanging out with me while I featured elite entrepreneurs who took their vision to reality. I'm sure this was as inspiring for you as it was for me to do this interview. All I can say is wow, wow, wow. We talked about Ask for More with Crystal and Mark Victor Hansen. Absolutely amazing. Ask yourself, ask others and ask God. Ask the divine. You've heard this interview and you've got to read the book. But let me give you an analogy. If you're a foodie and I went to a restaurant and you said, "Hey, Tony, how's the food?" I say, "Ah, it was good." That really doesn't do it for you. You know, you want to hear, "Oh, man, it was off the hook" and this and that. And I'm not a foodie and I'm not a food critic, so I don't explain things so well. But you get the point. We barely even scratch the surface on the book. So you got to go to Amazon, get the book and read the story of Micaela. That's it. That will get you hooked because it is absolutely amazing. And then you got to join us at AskTheBookClub.com. Get in on the fun. Join the event. You like having fun? This is a very fun event. You're going to absolutely love it. And you know, please like, subscribe, comment and share this interview and tell me what did you get? I'd love to know how you use this information to help you in your business or career. I do this for you. I bring elite entrepreneurs who are at the top of their game, and I share this with you to help you speed up and accelerate to where you want to go in your business, your life, your career, whether it is you want to go from five digits to six digits, six to seven, seven to eight, or you want to start something new. You know, it starts with a decision, first of all. And to do that, you've got to get the vision map. I wrote this up five years ago plus when I started podcasting and I got to the top of my game in just a few years. That's all it took, you know, way back when. As I've probably talked about before, people would have these thirty, forty, fifty-year goals and strategies. That's all changed now. When I say today that you could make it to the top of the game and make a really great living in just a few years, that's probably passé by the time you hear this, because people are doing it in weeks and months. It's just that fast. With all the technology and all the applications and everything that we have. And to help you get to the top of your game really fast, guess what? That's right. Ask. Ask yourself, ask others and ask God. Read the book. Get it. Check it out. And by the way, you can get the vision map at TonyDUrso.com/Books. It's free, so hey, go do it. I wrote it up for you so that you can do it too. I want to help you move on your journey to success. And you know, guys, please consider supporting this show with a nice review. Just go to RateThisPodcast.com/Tony. Or you can also go to Apple Podcasts. That would be great as well. All right, guys, thanks. So remember, success awaits those who persevere and remain steadfast despite the odds. Sow good seeds, do good deeds. And join me on the next episode of The Tony D'Urso Show. ANNOUNCER: We hope you've enjoyed this week's edition of The Tony D'Urso Show with his key influencers. Be sure to tune in again next Friday at 5:00 PM Eastern Time, 2:00 PM Pacific Time on the Voice America Influencers channel.