EP123. Corey Kupfer: Secrets To Becoming An Authentic Negotiator!

Corey Kupfer negotiated successful deals for over 30 years as an entrepreneur and lawyer. But according to his mother, he’s been negotiating non-professionally since he could talk. Corey runs his own firm, Kupfer & Associates, PLLC, and founded a speaking, training and consulting company called Authentic Enterprises, LLC. He’s the author of the best-selling book, Authentic Negotiating: Clarity, Detachment & Equilibrium–The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success & How to Achieve Them.


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  • How it all started for Corey Kupfer at coreykupfer.com.
  • He’s is an active deal attorney for over 30 years.
  • His mother says he’s been negotiating since he could talk!
  • He continues to speak, train and consult on a professional basis.
  • He’s Jewish and grew up in an Italian-Jewish neighborhood.
  • Discussing the secrets to being an authentic negotiator.
  • It’s not about tactics nor techniques.
  • True negotiating success is about the inner game and your state of being.
  • You’ve got to willing to look inside and get that level of clarity.
  • What does it mean to negotiate authentically?
  • You need to be true to yourself and know what you really want.
  • So many people encountered chasing deals that do not fit with their final objective.
  • Do the deep work to figure out what you want to do this deal.
  • Authenticity means being connected to your truth, getting clear and doing a deal that honors and aligns with your visions and values.
  • About the quote “don’t sell yourself short.” Stay true to your goals and ideals.
  • How about when you really want the money, but it’s not enough to do what is really needed? Do you take the peanuts or walk away?
  • What’s your bottom line? What’s the minimum you want to do the deal?
  • Will you take a penny less than that? How about a penny less than that?
  • You can end up at zero if you keep going that way.
  • You need that level of clarity up front in order to be able to make a clear decision on when it doesn’t make sense for you anymore.
  • You always have to be alert and know your bottom line.
  • Are there steps to be a great negotiator?
  • Chapter 4 in his book goes over this in depth.
  • 1. Create and stay connected to a powerful context.
  • Context is like culture. Are you in a place of fear, scarcity or desperation?
  • CPR: Context, Purpose, Results.
  • 2. Be willing to do what it takes to get to your truth. Do the internal work.
  • 3. Identifying and fully owning your value. This comes up a lot.
  • This is great for people selling their own services as they may not be owning their full value.
  • If the market says you can charge $500 an hour, but you can only own $300 an hour…the odds are low to get $500 an hour.
  • You have to work up to the value.
  • People can read energy, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions and so forth.
  • We give off signals all the time to people. They can sense if we cannot own our value.
  • 4. Integrity. The obvious part is to be honest. The other part is integrity with yourself. Be true to your values.
  • If something feels off, you need to pay attention to that.
  • 5. Have high expectations. When you hold high expectations, you do better.
  • Those 5 points are better than any tactic or tip.
  • Chapter 3 goes into: some of the top reasons that negotiations fail.
  • Make sure you do the planning, get centered and calm.
  • Go into a negotiation in the right state.
  • If you are not prepared mentally and emotionally, that can throw you off.
  • We’re human—emotions come up.
  • Emotions are a signal that you are at risk or that you are off.
  • Some big ones are: ego, fear and rigidity.
  • Ego is this false sense of you who are.
  • His counter-intuitive statement: never win a negotiation! How does this fit in?
  • About the “win-win” cliche and what can be wrong with it.
  • Your goal should never be to “win” a negotiation, it should be to be true to your objectives.
  • Corey’s purpose. What motivates and drives him at coreykupfer.com.
  • He wants to inspire authenticity in business for the most profitable companies and the most happiest employees.
  • He’s been all over the world, and met entrepreneurs in many countries. Humans are humans. Deep inside of us is a common humanity.
  • Everybody negotiates all the time. We all negotiate. It is a crucial skill and is worth spending time on.
  • There is an Authentic Negotiating Success Quiz of 10 questions at coreykupfer.com. Check it out and do this assessment to see where you stand.


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Corey Kupfer gives an amazing talk on how to negotiate no matter where you are on the scale, no matter what the situation or scenario is. This is the stuff! You will want to listen to this interview several times and then realize, like me, that you gotta get his bestselling book to really master the skill of negotiating. There is also an Authentic Negotiating Success Quiz of 10 questions at coreykupfer.com. Check it out and do this assessment to see where you stand. What a gem! I love this!



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